The Reality of Crutches

This is kind of a random post, spread out over time.

When I first got the crutches, there was a learning curve, which was steep, and a little painful. I figured out getting around, but stairs without a railing had left me in screaming pain after nearly falling and ending up putting my bad leg down (this was the day of the initial break, post being sent out of the ER).

Pre-surgery round 1, I was really going through a learning curve. Getting around on crutches and one leg takes time. A LOT of time. Everything from something as simple as feeding my cats or going to the bathroom takes 2-3x longer than normal. I had no idea how to plan around that, and my timing was drastically off for pretty much everything.

I thought I could do public transit to work. My first attempt was taking the ferry along with a short stint on the BART train. Mistake #1 (forgetting to ask for a disabled parking permit) was realized quickly when I found out that I couldn't find a parking spot and ended up at the farthest possible spot from the ferry building, not even in a real spot. Hello parking ticket on top of everything else, but I had promised I'd get in to the office, so it was what it was.

Mistake #2: Not realizing how much work crutching around is. Making my way from the ferry to the BART station didn't seem like a bad idea from my couch. The reality was a totally different situation. That was a long ways to go on crutches. I was, literally, drenched in sweat by the time I got to work. It was a full on gym workout, sweat running into my eyes, soaked shirt, the whole nine yards.

Mistake #3: Attempting to use an escalator. Seems like these are put in for people like me, right? No, no they're not. Getting off wasn't too bad - trying to get onto a moving surface that wasn't going to stop no matter what? That was another story. I tried it. It was scary as hell, and beyond sketchy. I nearly ate shit twice.

Thankfully my new roommate (who was also taking the ferry) generously used one of his write-off-able Lyft rides to get me back to the ferry in the evening, and then gave me a ride back to my truck with his car.

I had to head into the office a couple days later again, and this time I decided to skip the step of the ferry and just try BART, driving to the nearest station. I had learned my lesson about escalators already, so didn't even bother trying that.

Mistake #4: Not realizing how sketchy crutches are on wet floors.

It was raining this day, but on the pavement and cement I had thus far been on, things weren't too bad. I got into the BART station, where mistake #4 bit me, not realizing that the finished brick floors were sketchy as all get out on crutches. Down I went, right in the middle of the station. I kept my leg out of it (thank goodness for martial arts training), but getting up was another challenge. Several people rushed to my rescue, but the embarrassment and humiliation and frustration still factored in. Eventually I got everything settled, took the million and one stairs one at a time to get the train platform (elevator was out of service). For once I didn't feel bad using the disabled seat, but was very nervous about rushing other passengers hitting my leg - some came way to close for comfort.

The train floors were also super slick to crutch legs - and I nearly binned it again getting on the train...thankfully a grab bar was close enough to keep me from going all the way down. At the other end of the station, I again ended up taking the stairs - there was one elevator, at the far end of the station from where I needed to be, nearly 1/4 of a mile away - not worth it with the wet floors. So the equivalent of about 3 flights of stairs, one step at a time was the solution.

After a couple weeks of getting around on crutches and after my big learning mistakes, I started to get past the worst of the learning curve. By the time I went home with my x-brace, I had the worst of that behind me, and a few solutions or work-arounds in place. The x-brace was obnoxiously large and in the way, so it was good I had worked through the crutches before that. Falling with that on, with the gigantic pins sticking out waiting to smash my leg to bits, was a terrifying thought. Patience had to come quick.

I got frustrated a lot. In fact, I still do. Everything takes longer. Something simple, like reaching for a drawer, become a process: set up, get balanced, move one crutch away and lean it somewhere where it won't fall out of reach, balance on one leg, move other crutch out of the way, reach for drawer, open without throwing yourself off balance, grab your item, set it down, reach back down to close drawer, reset crutch #1, grab #2 and get it set, grab item from drawer, and proceed.

All of that for one item. Now turn that into every. single. thing. you. do.

I've learned to do a lot of things on my crutches, just having to adjust to the fact that it takes forever. I've learned to vacuum with crutches, I've learned to hobble short distances with one hand holding an item and still use both crutches to get across the house (pinching one in my arm pit and swinging it a foot or two, take that step, repeat until you reach your destination). My string bag backpacks have become my best friends in hauling things around the house with me like meds or drinks.

There are still some things I can't figure out how I would do them on my own though. Grocery shopping being a big one. Thus far I've gotten by with grocery delivery and another friend who has very generously picked things up for me a couple times now. But, once the newness of my injury wears off, and the help starts to disappear (which already seems to be happening), I'm not sure what I'll do about some things. I can't afford to just pay someone to do those things for me. I guess I'll figure it out when I need to - not much choice. Much like I did the other day, getting that heavy box the delivery guy left at the bottom, instead of the top, into my house. I may have been in tears of frustration by the time I was done, but I did it. When no one else is there, I figure it out - guess that's why I'm not huge on asking for help normally - help isn't always going to be there when you need it, best to learn to do it yourself so you know you can, even if it sucks.