Today is a day of mixed emotions, much of it probably propagated by a lack of sleep and stress. The breaking point, however, is the stupid leg. The rest I'm managing to control and keep it together, that's the one thing that has me fighting back the tears as I sit at work. WTF.
This was one of those days where the leg is just stiff. Yesterday was a LONG day. I was moving, and while I hired movers to do all the heaving lifting (good-bye money for my dream trip to Italy :( ), I was still making a truck-bed full of "little" stuff and bike stuff - twice. Traffic was also a nightmare, and since my truck is a manual, I sat in stop and go traffic for what amounted to about 3-4 hours yesterday. Meaning, my leg got a WORKOUT.
That left me with a sore, tired, leg today. It was okay earlier, but still stiffer than I'd like. I started dwelling on the stiffness. I got to thinking about how my PT had noticed things in my gait that needed correcting. And then I started getting mad at my insurance for saying I didn't need anymore PT and they were done paying for it. I was too worn out and tired to deal with the appeals just to get that "second set of eyes" on things since I had the majority of exercises I needed to do - it was just more matter of catching incorrect things before they became a problem.
I then just started getting frustrated at the entire system. I'm tired, sore, stressed, and stiff and limping, and financially strained. And it all just was a straw that I couldn't seem to bear today. Hopefully my ride home tonight and getting some more unpacking done will improve my mood, but man, right now I'm just frustrated and tired and just wish this was all nothing more than a bad dream. ALL of it. From the break, to the finances, to the infection, to the missed riding time, to the ruined race season, to the daily pain, to the potentially very bleak future. Just not able to handle it today.
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