Part of me couldn't wait to get more active again. The other part of me was scared of it. Heck, there are still things I used to never give a thought to that I now find terrifying (like the idea of jumping - at all, in any way shape or form). Interesting how you just stop trusting your body so easily.
So, I picked some things I knew I could do. This past week I took my roommate's bicycle out for some paved trail rides. They were great workouts, and I was invigorated by just being outside and moving again. Breathing hard, and the hills sucked, but afterwards I felt amazing (even if I was cursing the long uphills during the ride and wondering how anyone found it "fun"). Tonight I'm scheduled to meet a friend/coworker to work out at his cross-fit gym. Sounds like it's a group-class, but "at your own pace" kind of thing. We shall see how that goes. With my inability to jump, hop, run, or jog it may be interesting to see just how limited I'm going to be. Granted, there are modifications I can work on - like a side to side (very) gentle hop I can do....stuff like that. Most things have to be modified - I can't do a normal squat or lunge, either, but those are still good exercises for me to do, so modify away I guess I will.
I'll admit I'm a bit worried about being frustrated by what I can't do...I know it's all self paced, but historically I've been one of the top women in most physical training groups I've been in. To be on the opposite end of the spectrum - well, I'm hoping it doesn't kill my motivation too much. Or make me push more than I should.
On the flip side, I know more activity is good for the leg. Everything points to the idea that it has turned a corner and is responding to more activity instead of more rest. But this is new territory for me - I've never been this hindered by an injury. I don't think the long term hindrance (other than what I would normally expect) will be that horrible (assuming, of course, the infection doesn't continue to be an issue). Speaking of infections, that's the other reason I see more motion a good thing. Keep that blood flowing, get that ankle moving and encourage blood flow in that area. Stress the bone so it is in healing mode and gets more blood/nutrients than it otherwise might - and *hopefully* that will help kick this damn thing in the proverbial ass.
Of course, it may not. Things may still very much not go my way. And that little cloud just keeps on hanging around - partially because I'm so terrified of hearing bad news that I don't want to be ripped about by it if it comes to that. I'd rather be prepared for a worst case scenario - and in the meantime, I've at least drummed up some more motivation to fight a little harder for a better case scenario.
